109th.

"Everything I think of you changes constantly. I love you, I hate you, I need you, I want you, I am so much better off without you, you don’t deserve me, you’re everything to me. There are times I think I can get over you, & times when I know I can’t. There are times I flirt with other guys, & think maybe something could even blossom there because that guy could love me back. But all my fantasies involving that guy just entail you watching us together; you realizing that I am everything you ever dreamed of, & then my imagination breaks away from all my self control & I imagine you & I together, just like I always have."

I used to think like that before. Makes me think how stupid and foolish I was back then. And now I can only LOL.